for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
