Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
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the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
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The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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