At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
