I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
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I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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