i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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