i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize