Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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