My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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