This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
