somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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