She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
