If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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