Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
