her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize