Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
