I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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