Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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