My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
