The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it glows. i had to have it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
