i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
