i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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