can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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