I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
