It's a beautiful day for a hangover
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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