Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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