apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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