Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
