DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
