All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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