I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
