I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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