she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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