It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
