Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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