hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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