..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
