in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
