ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
