waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
