I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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