he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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