Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
