Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she peed on how many people?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
