hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
