So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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