I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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