Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Mom said you looked used
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
