Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
