Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
