dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
