Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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