if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
