Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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