I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
