for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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