I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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