wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
