who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize