OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
