would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
