is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
